After the Fact - A Hippo Essay

By Sue Alexander

September 22, 2021

Just a gentle reminder everyone. We are here for grief support after the loss of an animal friend or family member due to a behaviour problem. I lost my beloved mare, Kayak two years ago. Trish lost Lulu, her dog. Most of you have lost a dog, but we have also had losses of rats, cats, a llama, a snake, birds and rabbits. We also have allies; professionals who have worked with us, shelter workers, and sometimes sisters, mothers, brothers, dads, friends, and aunties. This is a gentle and sensitive place to be. It is very important to READ THE RULES and play according to them. We are having a bit of trouble with two of our rules. Be kind. Don't screen share.

Please note that unkind posts, even borderline unkind posts are removed, and sometimes Facebook does not give us the option to reach out to you to explain why your reply may have been removed.

Please also note that sharing content from Losing Lulu will result in your immediate removal from the group, and no, we don't explain that if you have been removed, even if you shared in the hopes of benefitting someone. This is a sensitive, gentle and very private group of more than thirteen thousand people. Protecting our members and the culture is extremely important in order to keep it a safe place to get support. We take this very, very seriously.

So what should you do if you think you have a good reason to share the information within the group? Reach out to one of the modmin team and we will help you right out. We want to make sure that we help as many people as possible. I want to make clear that gathering data on Losing Lulu without permission is also prohibited. This is another way of sharing the group without the permission of those who participate. We have had a number of magazine articles, blogs, and organizations request information from us, and we love to help, but we don't allow people to lurk, gather information and then share that. Your private grief needs to be protected. You need to know that you are safe here.

We have had one scientific study done, and we clearly publicized when data was being collected and what information was being studied. We are awaiting publication and that will then be shared back with the group. This was done after extensive discussion with the members at the time (there were fewer than 3 000 of us then!). If you are a member of an academic institution and you want to study us, reach out to the modmin team and we will discuss that and decide if we want to bring this to the group.

So what should you do if you think that the group has been shared? That part is easy! Reach out to the modmin team and let us know and we will take it from there. WE need to know what has been shared, when and where and we will do our best to find out who shared it, remove them and ban them from the group and then isolate the information as much as we can. This is something you can do to help keep Losing Lulu safe.

Thanks for reading. Today's image is of my very special girl Kayak, who is no longer with me, but whose hoofprints have forever changed my heart. I love this picture because I was scratching her and she was trying to return the favour. We loved one another, even when it wasn't working very well.