About Losing Lulu

Founded in January of 2018, Losing Lulu is the online Facebook group that helps people to find support after losing an animal companion or family member to a behavioural euthanasia.  Losing Lulu is named in honour of the young foster dog in the care of world renowned aggression expert Trish McMillan.  Late on New Years eve, Trish arrived home after having been away for a few days, and the four dogs, including Lulu rushed to greet her on the porch of her Tiny House.  In the excitement, Lulu attacked and seriously injured Trish’s elderly Sato dog.  Fortunately, Trish has extensive experience breaking up dog fights, she had the tools on hand to do so safely and she had a helper available to assist.  Nevertheless, Lulu did extensive damage the other dog. 

Lulu had several failed placements, and as a rescue, it was determined that she was no longer on their adoptable list, so the decision was made to say goodbye to her.  Trish was very sad as she had worked for almost a year to find this dog selective dog the appropriate home.  Trish has always been generous in sharing the lives of the animals in her care, and Lulu had a firm following on her social media accounts.  After waiting a few days to grieve privately, Trish courageously chose to share with the world the story of what happened.  Trish’s closer friends, especially those in the training community understood that the ethics of placing dogs who are willing and able to do the amount of damage that Lulu did and were very supportive.  Unfortunately, the broader community of pet lovers around the world did not always understand and they were not always kind in their comments.  This situation is not uncommon in the dog training world.  The public perception is that all dogs can be saved regardless of the behaviour problem they experience, and keyboard warriors were more than happy to say unkind things to and about Trish and the rescue from which Lulu came. 

On Trish’s personal page, many of the pro-trainers who know Trish were lamenting that we needed a place specifically for those who have experienced the loss of an animal companion or family member to go where they could talk about the loss with others who would be supportive and thoughtful and who would take care of one another’s feelings when it came to this sensitive topic.  Sue Alexander, a close friend of Trish’s saw this request as a simple problem that could be resolved with a simple action.  Less than five minutes later, Sue created the Facebook Group with the expectation that many of the trainers who know both Sue and Trish would join in and share their own losses.  Within an hour, more than 100 people had joined.  Within a week, there were over 400 members, and within a month the first thousand people had joined.

Since that time, Losing Lulu has continued to grow.  In the fall of 2023, we hit 28 000 members and we are still growing.  We have developed some terms that are unique to Losing Lulu.  A Lulu is any animal, regardless of species (we have had stories about dogs, cats, rats, gerbils, bunnies, horses, snakes and llamas for instance) who has been euthanized due to a behaviour problem.  The Hippo was chosen by Sue Alexander as our “sample” animal because so few of them are kept as pets.  When we want to talk about behavioural euthanasia in general, we can talk about hippos and no one (or almost no one) will be offended that their species is being targeted as a possible Lulu.  We also talk about BE, which stands for Behavioural Euthanasia.

We are so sorry you have needed to find your way here, and at the same time, we are glad you did.  Losing Lulu is a community with a strong and kind culture.  We moderate the list intensively to ensure that everything stays kind.  We do not permit drama or flame wars and we only allow those in who have been touched by behavioural euthanasia.  Grief tourism is not what we are all about.  If you are not sure if you belong on Losing Lulu, it is pretty easy to tell.  You will belong to one of the following groups:

1. Family members or close friends of the animal who passed.

2. Trainers, behaviour consultants, veterinarians, veterinary staff and others who encounter Lulus professionally.

3. Keepers, kennel attendants and those who are responsible for the care of Lulus.

4. Members of the sheltering and rescue community including foster families who might know of animals who cannot be safely placed and who have been or will soon be euthanized.

If your animal is a potential Lulu, but has not passed away yet, we ask that you don’t join our group.  You will be welcome when you need us.  In the meantime, please visit our resources page (hyperlink please) and consider taking the “Making the Decision for Families” webinar at https://trish-s-school-bcb6.thinkific.com/courses/losing-lulu-introduction-to-behavioural-euthanasia-for-families-webinar on the Shelter Behavior Hub platform.